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"Once I was so ashamed of my scrawny frame that I dreaded being seen in a swimsuit.  Then I discovered a wonderful secret that changed me from a 97 pound 'Runt,' into 'The World's Most Perfectly Developed Man.'  TruckPunk gear!"
-Actual customer testimonial

Yes, fiends...!!  DIG IN!!  HEH!  HEH!!

Not since the Star Wars franchise has the public been so stark raving mad for novelty items!  Get your hands on this grrrrrruesomly fangtastic junk, available only...from!!

Win friends!  Lose friends!  All with this ghoulish garment!  This high quality, 2 sided torso covering has become the 'standard uniform' of the TruckPunk fanatics around the world.  An instant classic.  Adult and Women's sizes.

$10.00 (indicate size)

Relive those Monsters of Rock, day-after-the-concert, souvenier shirt wearin' days of yesteryear with this spine tingling outerwear guaranteed to turn heads...and stomachs.  Adult sizes.

$15.00 (indicate size)

Hide your zit faced mug from Sandford N.W.A. with the winter apparel that makes you sweat at your own temperature...what more do you want?!  Adult sizes...hood included.

$25.00 (indicate size)

Punk Rock and inseparable as Chang and Eng Bunker!  I blew 'em up good, so's you can read the clever catch phrases!  Grab a stack today and adhere them to totally inappropriate objects of a highly visible nature!

$2.00 (four pack)


You see, they're just like a finicky sticker...adhering only to metal.  Only, they're BETTER than a sticker on-account-a you can re-use them...on something metal.  They're what they call "magnetic."  Try to adhere them to something else, say...plastic.  It's a no-go, cowboy!  In which case, they're not as good as the sticker!

Serving suggestion only.  Lunch box not included.

$3.00 (four pack)

The greatest Horror record 7" series of all time!  You can't afford NOT to purchase this bargain basement priced trifecta of Slasher Rock from Custer's own SEWER SCREW!  This triple avalanche of grisly horror is yours...for shipping rate only! 

Act now and you'll also receive Life + Limb on white vinyl...absolutely free!

That's why the trifecta to the left is actually a fourfecta.

$5.00 (shipping)

Now, like TruckPunk (and to a lesser extent Danny Torrence), you too can sit Indian style on the carpet going VROOM! VROOM! with your very own replica of 4541!!  This Peterbilt 387 scale model is easier to drive, easier to park, and you don't have to get authorization from Happy Face Freight to either bobtail OR idle!!  No extensive training or expensive CDLs here, my friends!  And remember, kids...teams can roll 24 hours a day!  Annoy your parents!!

$45.00 (What?!  I have to apply the decals myself!)

Button down the hatches! Now you can show your undying loyalty to TruckPunk without forkin' out the big bucks for Official TruckPunk clothing!  Don't go through the tremendous effort of putting on one of our stylish, two-sided T-shirts, jerseys or sweatshirts to show your support for the Great American Novel!  Heavens no, you chisler!  Go shirtless!  Pin all three of these bad-ass buttons right into your naked flesh!  Why wouldn't you?  It's the Punk Rock thing to do!

$3.00 (all three!)

Sweet Zombie Jesus!  Would you get a load of all them decals!  Listen folks, I’ve been in more bands than a Lollapalooza line up, and I’m here to pump each and every one like a tank full of diesel! Why, we got more stickers than a field full of bramble, and you can have 'em all!  Support bands that no longer exist!  Support bands you liked better before I started singing for them!  Support bands you've never heard!  But above all, support TruckPunk...

$3.00 (All of 'em! INCLUDING shipping! What're you WAITING FOR?!)

Good evening, friends.  Shane Stuart here.  You know, many of you may ask what good is a bookmark when there ISN'T EVEN A FRIGGIN' BOOK YET!!  Well, I'll tell you.  TruckPunk dotcom is giving these away free to anyone and everyone that desires one.  It's our promise to you.  This is the stuff dreams are made of...and these dreams WILL come true.  It is only a matter of time before you will be able to stick these where the sun don't shine...right up in the pages of TruckPunk - The Book.  Please specify Great American Novel red, white, and blue, or blackest of the black.  Thank you, and good night.

Okay, I confess.  These are nothing more than TruckPunk buttons with the pin prick mechanism removed and replaced with a powerful ceramic magnet.  But would YOU go through the trouble to purchase buttons and make these yourself?  Didn't think so.  That's why here at TruckPunk Headquarters, we spent a Saturday afternoon drinking Jack and gingers on the back porch, doing all the hard work for you.  Besides, if they're good enough for Captain Astro, they're good enough for you, Cochise!

$3.00 (set of three)

Y'know, one might say this sleek, beautiful, stainless steel TruckPunk thermos is nothing more than a sleek, beautiful, stainless steel thermos with a vinyl TruckPunk sticker.

And one would be correct.

Doesn't mean I won't sell you one!

Twenty bucks!

TruckPunk Merchandising Inc. is currently not licensed to sell adult beverages over the internet...or come within 100 feet of particular individuals.  Litigation sagas aside, these novelty bottles of deep red swill ARE available and prices are totally negotiable. 

Walk with me, talk with me...

Contact to finagle yours today!


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